I have heard two of my friends already hope for a simpler 2016. A more level and calmer year.
Which got me thinking about what we mean by simplicity. How do we try to simplify life? Is life ever really simple?
An amazing philosopher I love, Confucius, once said: 'Life is really simple but we insist on making it complicated'. He said it around 500 BC...absolute legend before his time!
Humans have survived for millions of years but life has gradually become more and more complicated. From the way we obtain our food, to the way we sleep and eat, to the way we communicate, to the way we think about what we do. The world has become full of complexities as we become more globalised and more technologically advanced. Don't get me wrong, the sophistication of our lives amazes and astounds me. We can achieve so much as a human race. Treat seemingly incurable diseases, extend life, save lives. Every minute, we are learning and developing ourselves to become better and more knowledgeable.
When it comes to birth though...have we OVER complicated things a little?
Women have always given birth. Always. Forever. As Ina May Gaskin says, 'It is important to keep in mind that our bodies must work pretty well, or there wouldn't be so many humans on the planet'.
So why are so many women fearful of birth? Why is birth sometimes treated like an illness that needs loads of different medical treatments?
I love this video, which has been doing the rounds recently.
It shows absurdity in the way that birth can be prodded and poked at unnecessarily. It suggests that, although some births do need intervention, often choices can be taken away by the 'experts'. Birth is handed over to outsiders and becomes over-complicated.
So, how might we start to make birth more simple?
Knowledge:
A screw is an incredibly simple mechanism. But when you use a screw wrongly...when you try to bash a screw into the wall with a hammer, or turn it the wrong way, or use it as a toothpick, you're just not going to get very far! You need to know how a screw works. It's the same with birth. Women are able to give birth. Simple. But if we don't know how then process works, how are we supposed to do it effectively?
Knowledge enables us to make informed decisions. Knowledge allows us to find the most simple solution. But you need the knowledge first and, unless you're a midwife or attend a really top notch antenatal or hypnotherapy course, it isn't always easy to come by. I found that I really had to search for it.
Not fearing the worst:
If we feared being hit by a car every time we left the house, we would never go out. If we feared choking or food poisoning every time we ate, we'd never eat.
If we fear birth, how do we expect our bodies to birth well and not seize up? Why do we over-complicate our thoughts about birth with irrational fears of 'what if?'. Birth is unpredictable. All natural processes have an element of unpredictability. But birth has become the realm of medicine over the past 200 years no matter what turn it takes. If there isn't a need or a want for medical intervention, why is it sometimes still encouraged? Why isn't it just left to happen? What if we truly believed our bodies were capable? And didn't fear the worst. Just kept it simple... 'I can do this; my body can do this'. Just like the millions of women before us. Easier said than done? What if we practiced the mantra every day? What if we re-trained our minds to believe it?
The power of instinct:
In Zen Buddhism, simplicity is about using your instinct. Humans have always used their instinct to survive. You can still see it in the animal world. And you see it with babies. The instinct to roll over, to yawn, to poo, to sit up, to walk, to eat and sleep. Nobody tells them to do it. They just do.
Women have an instinct to birth. And an instinct to know what is right for them and their baby. But so often that instinct disappears when others take over. Or instincts are overridden by the horror stories we hear so often. But nobody else can really know how to give birth to your baby. You do. You know how to do it and what way will be best and what decisions to make when the time comes. Every birth is different. Every person is different. Only you know what is best. You just need to trust your instinct. Trust the most simple form of knowledge.
'Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers--strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength' (Barbara Katz Rothman)
When my friends refer to having a simpler 2016, I think they mean they want it to be less complicated. A little easier maybe. A bit calmer.
With birth, could we introduce greater knowledge, greater use of our natural instinct and a little less fear to simplify things? To make birth a bit calmer; a bit easier? Could Hypnobirthing help to do this? I really really believe it can.
Could we do the same in life more generally? My New Years resolutions are to do just that...
- gain greater knowledge
- trust my instinct
- be less fearful
Anyone else up fancy it too? Wishing you all a simpler and very happy 2016 😊
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