#Birth: Re-programming the language of birth

Push!!! PUSH!!!!!

The TV image of birth always involves this phrase, without a doubt. It is probably the most common phrase associated with the dialogue of birth.

What does it conjure in your mind?


The point is that words always conjure up certain imagery. We are programmed to match words with images. Our subconscious collects these images over time, and stores them. If the words are associated with negative images, you may feel anxiety and fear when you hear the word. 
Some obvious examples...spider, ghost, poison. 

But what if we were to re-programme ourselves, using language that conjured up more positive imagery?

The following words are frequently used during birthing. Practitioners of hypnobirthing often suggest that we change the language we use around some of these, and ask care providers and even friends and family, to do the same.
Normal
The breadth of 'normal' is huge. I have heard my birth described as 'normal', which I would agree with, but certainly not compared to another 'abnormal' birth. Just as there are no two humans the same, neither are two births the same. Normal is far from normal. 

Pain
The first thought that pops into everyone's head when talking about birth is PAIN. The first question I was asked by some of my 15 year old students afterwards was 'oh my god miss, was it REALLY painful???'. Well, the theory behind hypnobirthing is that 95% of pain in labour is actually as a result of fear and tension. And then, we become scared of labour, which leads to more pain. A vicious cycle that we need to break. Many hypnobirthing mums report little to no pain. Others suggest that self-hypnosis and relaxation actually enables you to manage the pain. Is it even pain at all, or is it something completely different? However we come to view it, will inevitably start with our preconceptions of it. 

Contractions
The biggie - the feeling we wait for, but with no idea how it will feel. Contractions suggest 'tightening', whereas the aim of effective birthing is to relax and release muscles. On my 'birth preferences', I asked the midwives to refer to 'surges'. In the weeks before, I also talked about the 'surges' (and sometimes the 'waves') I was expecting to have. As a result, when they came, I automatically visualised powerful waves hitting the shore. It wasn't planned, it was just something that kicked in. Applying softer language to this vital process allows a more positive, calmer approach as the feelings begin.

Failure
Most commonly during labour, the term 'failure' might be used as part of the phrase 'failure to progress' (or, medically known as, dystocia). 35% of cesareans are due to this diagnosis. The definition is:

'difficult birth, typically caused by a large or awkwardly positioned fetus, by smallness of the maternal pelvis, or by failure of the uterus and cervix to contract and expand normally'

The word failure has HUGE implications, suggesting that you are either giving birth to a baby that is too big for you, or that your body is not working properly. Well, as we know, neither of these can possibly be true. Fact. And, jeez, as if you need to be doused with guilt on top of all the other emotions swimming through your body! 
In fact, the term is a blanket statement that was coined in 1953, and in fact, could refer to a number of variations of birth, including the mothers' energy levels, the position of the baby, the varying levels of adrenaline/oxytocin, which could be affected by the mother's emotional state, hospital policies (that might encourage immobility for routine monitoring), medications used, induction...the list is endless. Again, this highlights the variety of possibilities during birth. Applying a blanket statement undermines the unique nature of birth, and perhaps highlights a 'failure' in the system to identify the true story behind and, possibly, just wait.

Natural
I've written about this term before...I hate it. It suggests anything else is 'artificial'. And this follows into nurturing your child and the term 'artificial feeding' - a term I also detest. No matter the way that birth occurred, it derives from nature. Humans derive from nature. Humans have ensured that everyone can give birth, no matter what the circumstances. Humans have ensured that everyone can make decisions around the best birth for them. The key is understanding what is involved in birthing, and making those decisions with knowledge and evidence. 

Hypnobirthing is a bit like running a virus scan on your subconscious, finding corrupt or out-of-date views and re-programming them so they don't become harmful to you. For many, language can become harmful if left to eat away and create anxiety. But, as with everything in Hypnobirthing, it is not about someone else identifying the fears you have. It can only begin with the person who knows you best - you. 

It is possible to re-programme your subconscious through hypnobirthing. I am hoping to start a training programme in Hertfordshire over the coming months. To find out more before then, visit The Hypnobirthing Association.