#Birth: Teaching the hypnobirthing

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Having completed an incredible hypnobirthing teaching diploma with hypnobirthing Yoda, Katharine Graves, Birth Story Hypnobirthing is now up and running.

To say I learnt a lot on the teacher training is an understatement. In just the same way that hypnobirthing gave me the tools and mindset to guide me calmly and peacefully through birth, this training has had a similar effect. It has been a game changer.

I know this is going to change things, but I'm not entirely sure how yet and I'm not entirely sure it's going to happen straight away. But I really feel like this is the start of something a little bit special. I can't wait to enable other women to give birth calmly and with confidence.

So, why am I here? Why do I feel so strongly that teaching hypnobirthing to other women and their birth partners is such an important thing to do?

1. It's a little bit revolutionary

I was so chuffed to discover that out of the 25 or so attendees on the teacher training course, around 18-19 were midwives, and a large number of those were student midwives. 
Now, we are privileged to have an amazingly strong midwifery community in this country, and to be leading the way in so many areas of research. To see that number of attendees validates the power of the course. It validates my belief that hypnobirthing really has something to offer. More than that, it has the potential to be revolutionary in the way we view and react to birth. 

2. It worked for me and people I know
I have no background in meditation or yoga. The thought of spending time to purely relax sounded boring. The first time I sat down to focus on the birth I wanted, I couldn't stop the cynic in the back of my mind. But, over time, it started to make sense. And it completely paid off. I had a wonderfully empowering and relaxing birth, just like the many I had seen on youtube. There are so many positive birth stories I've come across since. Maybe a little bit boring; not a lot of drama or blue flashing lights, but undoubtedly positive.
I truly believe that if I can do it, so can every other woman.

3. It is easy

That's not something you hear very often when it comes to birth!! BUT it requires some regular effort. It is easy in that it is simple to practice and train yourself. All it requires is a little bit of time and the ability to close your eyes, listen and breathe. There are also a range of small things that can be done before and during the birth to make a huge difference. But the preparation is key. Just a little bit a day. 10-15 minutes. But it is vital. And such a good opportunity to give you and your birth partner some time out.

4. It gives you skills for life
Every time I feel stressed, I know that if I practice my 'up' breathing, I will feel so much better. Every time I need to block out the world, I can turn down a dial to completely zone myself out. Every time I struggle to fall asleep, I listen to a relaxation script, and before I know it...zzzzz. Hypnobirthing skills are not just for birth, they are for life. As you enter the crazy world of parenthood (or if you're there already), you will have the tools to help you manage every step of the way.

5. It makes you feel so good
Oxytocin. The love hormone. The hormone that facilitates birth. It makes you feel good. Everything in hypnobirthing is designed to encourage the production of oxytocin and make you feel amazing. Relaxations, lovely smells, light massage by your partner, being told how strong and wonderful you are. Every session is like a lovely trip to the soul spa. You should come out feeling radiant and confident. 

6.  It gives birth partners a key role
I've written about this before, but for many, watching their loved one give birth can be scary. Their instinct is saying 'protect' but they don't know what to do, where to stand, what to say. They might feel completely dis-empowered, helpless. My hypnobirthing course gives birth partners a clear role to play, in the lead up to, and during labour. No more flapping!

7. It gives you the knowledge
One of the most significant parts of KG Hypnobirthing is the knowledge you will gain about the physiology of birth, the protocols and procedures, and your rights. No more 'they can do what they want to me' or 'I'm not allowed to do that'. This is about you and your baby. You make the decisions. You can have the birth you want to. No more fear! You will feel empowered to work together your baby and your care providers, and calmly handle whatever nature throws your way. Because you, my dear, are a birthing goddess. Yes you are. 

8. It is for everyone
Hypnobirthing is not prescriptive about HOW you give birth. All I want is for you to have a birth experience that is as relaxing and empowering as it can be. That you can go into birth with knowledge and power, and with the confidence to make decisions that are right for you and your baby. C-sections, VBACs, vaginal births, water births, assisted, non-assisted, hospital, home, MLU, first child, tenth child...nobody is exempt from experiencing a positive birth. Whatever you decide is right, is right. Hypnobirthing can help with all of these scenarios. Trust me, it's a game-changer.    If you want to find out more about what I can offer you, please visit the Birth Story website: www.birthstory.co.uk or email me: relaxingbirth@googlemail.com

#Birth: Re-programming the language of birth

Push!!! PUSH!!!!!

The TV image of birth always involves this phrase, without a doubt. It is probably the most common phrase associated with the dialogue of birth.

What does it conjure in your mind?


The point is that words always conjure up certain imagery. We are programmed to match words with images. Our subconscious collects these images over time, and stores them. If the words are associated with negative images, you may feel anxiety and fear when you hear the word. 
Some obvious examples...spider, ghost, poison. 

But what if we were to re-programme ourselves, using language that conjured up more positive imagery?

The following words are frequently used during birthing. Practitioners of hypnobirthing often suggest that we change the language we use around some of these, and ask care providers and even friends and family, to do the same.
Normal
The breadth of 'normal' is huge. I have heard my birth described as 'normal', which I would agree with, but certainly not compared to another 'abnormal' birth. Just as there are no two humans the same, neither are two births the same. Normal is far from normal. 

Pain
The first thought that pops into everyone's head when talking about birth is PAIN. The first question I was asked by some of my 15 year old students afterwards was 'oh my god miss, was it REALLY painful???'. Well, the theory behind hypnobirthing is that 95% of pain in labour is actually as a result of fear and tension. And then, we become scared of labour, which leads to more pain. A vicious cycle that we need to break. Many hypnobirthing mums report little to no pain. Others suggest that self-hypnosis and relaxation actually enables you to manage the pain. Is it even pain at all, or is it something completely different? However we come to view it, will inevitably start with our preconceptions of it. 

Contractions
The biggie - the feeling we wait for, but with no idea how it will feel. Contractions suggest 'tightening', whereas the aim of effective birthing is to relax and release muscles. On my 'birth preferences', I asked the midwives to refer to 'surges'. In the weeks before, I also talked about the 'surges' (and sometimes the 'waves') I was expecting to have. As a result, when they came, I automatically visualised powerful waves hitting the shore. It wasn't planned, it was just something that kicked in. Applying softer language to this vital process allows a more positive, calmer approach as the feelings begin.

Failure
Most commonly during labour, the term 'failure' might be used as part of the phrase 'failure to progress' (or, medically known as, dystocia). 35% of cesareans are due to this diagnosis. The definition is:

'difficult birth, typically caused by a large or awkwardly positioned fetus, by smallness of the maternal pelvis, or by failure of the uterus and cervix to contract and expand normally'

The word failure has HUGE implications, suggesting that you are either giving birth to a baby that is too big for you, or that your body is not working properly. Well, as we know, neither of these can possibly be true. Fact. And, jeez, as if you need to be doused with guilt on top of all the other emotions swimming through your body! 
In fact, the term is a blanket statement that was coined in 1953, and in fact, could refer to a number of variations of birth, including the mothers' energy levels, the position of the baby, the varying levels of adrenaline/oxytocin, which could be affected by the mother's emotional state, hospital policies (that might encourage immobility for routine monitoring), medications used, induction...the list is endless. Again, this highlights the variety of possibilities during birth. Applying a blanket statement undermines the unique nature of birth, and perhaps highlights a 'failure' in the system to identify the true story behind and, possibly, just wait.

Natural
I've written about this term before...I hate it. It suggests anything else is 'artificial'. And this follows into nurturing your child and the term 'artificial feeding' - a term I also detest. No matter the way that birth occurred, it derives from nature. Humans derive from nature. Humans have ensured that everyone can give birth, no matter what the circumstances. Humans have ensured that everyone can make decisions around the best birth for them. The key is understanding what is involved in birthing, and making those decisions with knowledge and evidence. 

Hypnobirthing is a bit like running a virus scan on your subconscious, finding corrupt or out-of-date views and re-programming them so they don't become harmful to you. For many, language can become harmful if left to eat away and create anxiety. But, as with everything in Hypnobirthing, it is not about someone else identifying the fears you have. It can only begin with the person who knows you best - you. 

It is possible to re-programme your subconscious through hypnobirthing. I am hoping to start a training programme in Hertfordshire over the coming months. To find out more before then, visit The Hypnobirthing Association.

#Pregnancy: Promoting positive language

'Filled with lots of meaning, with everything I need. Spiritually healing, words that comfort' (Joan Armatrading)

How often, though, do words cut like a knife, instead of healing and comforting us? 

We can be so sensitive to words, and this is never more true during pregnancy and labour when we are in high defense mode, protecting our babies and ourselves from harm. Unfortunately, it's hard to set yourself up with a high filter all the time, and sometimes the most well-meant comment or phrase can dent your subconscious, and haunt you for weeks or months.

Protecting ourselves can start with the language we allow ourselves to hear and use in pregnancy and in preparation for labour: 

Negative birth stories
I've written before about the negative stories we constantly hear around birth. The horror stories of a friend of a friend, or so-and-so's aunty, or even your best friend who is desperate to tell you about the PAIN (we'll get back to that in another post). 
You  can start by avoiding these stories. Don't google them. Don't get into conversations about them. Just say 'can you tell me about this AFTER I've had my baby please?'. By then, you will have your own, more positive story to talk about.

Can and can't
Those last few weeks can be tough. I remember waddling around, with my thighs rubbing together, my lower back constantly hurting, feeling huge and sweaty. I had to make a conscious effort to say 'I can' every day. Going to work. Walking down the road. Getting off the sofa. Mindfully turning the negative into the positive is a vital part of your preparation for labour. Believe you can, and you will. 

Positive affirmations
These are SO powerful, if you can get past feeling a bit of a plonker listening to them and saying them yourself. There are literally thousands of hypnobirthing affirmations. Search 'hypnobirthing' on twitter, instagram or pinterest, and you'll find them. Tiny little nuggets of positivity to have as your phone wallpaper, to stick on post its around your bed, to print on A3, to listen to in the car or while you cook your dinner, to repeat and repeat and repeat until they fill the dents on your subconscious with sparkly diamonds of confidence. My all time favourite is 'all is calm, all is well, I am safe'. 

How else has language impacted you in pregnancy? 

Part 2 on language in labour coming soon


Affirmation image c/o: http://andrewmicahornoch.tumblr.com/post/114635391297/hypnobirthing-affirmation-8