#Birth: top ten homebirth must-haves

'You're having a homebirth?! Oh, you're one of THOSE women! Yeah okay, well maybe, just see how you go yeah?' 

Hum...well obviously I know you're NOT one of THOSE women...whatever the bloody hell that means! You're a woman who maybe wants to feel a bit of safety within their own environment. You want to have access to their own toilet. Their own fridge. Who maybe doesn't want to be in a clinical environment. Who wants the midwives to come to them. Who wants to walk in their own garden, sit on their own sofa, dim the lights a bit and having a bit of privacy. Yup, I'm with you. 

I also often heard 'oh, I could never do that, I'm such a control freak'. For me, this was exactly the reason I did it. I had to have control over my birthing environment and the way I did it. The thought of doctors getting involved in a brightly lit room with machines was not what I wanted, and I did everything I possibly could to try and avoid it. 

Fortunately, homebirths are becoming more socially accepted in the UK, with the NICE guidelines saying that for low-risk mothers with low-risk pregnancies, home births should be offered as a safe option, alongside the other birth settings.

Some of the statistics around home births can be viewed here, but deciding where to give birth is a very personal thing. The advantages and disadvantages vary amongst different people. For some, the comfort of a home birth might be a priority, whereas others might feel safer in a midwifery unit. For some higher risk pregnancies, the choice may not be as open. I am not here to influence you in any way. I'm guessing you might have made a decision already if you're reading this. 

If you have spent hours researching and watching lovely youtube videos, and have come to the conclusion that it's the right thing for you,  I thought I'd spare you a bit more time and give you my top ten list of absolute must-haves for a homebirth:

1. birthing pool
You will need to hire or buy one of these if you dream of a candlelit water birth. I had one but ended up giving birth on the lounge floor and the candles had long since gone out, but the five hours I was in water were (from what I remember) relatively comfortable and relaxing. My little cocoon. There are loads of hire companies - we used Barefoot Birth Pools and it was impeccably clean with full instructions and equipment. Amazing service.

2. towels/sheets/incontinence pads
'The carpets!!!!!' was was of the things I hollered during the last few contractions. The midwives had to keep assuring me that the carpets were fully protected. By that evening, you wouldn't have known there had been a birth there (except for the wrinkled little munchkin sleeping peacefully in her moses basket - oh how we should have slept then!). We had bought a few cheap towels from Primark, but it was the incontinence pads that covered most of the floor. There is more mess than you think. Buy lots. And then buy disposable incontinence pants for afterwards too.

3. birthing ball
This was immensely helpful to sit on in the last few months, when getting off the sofa required a forklift truck. Sitting on the ball also helped to ride out the early contractions. It's last use for me was as a prop to lean over as I pushed for dear life. You can grab one from Amazon or eBay for about a tenner. 

4. affirmations on repeat
I don't know why I felt so silly repeating these when I first started to, but throughout the last four months of pregnancy, I listened to and repeated these every day. My faves were 'my surges cannot be stronger than me because they are me' and 'All is calm, all is well, I am safe' from The Calm Birth School. For the first seven hours of labour, they were on repeat. They were ingrained on my soul by the end and there were a couple that I held on to right until the moment she was born. Other people use one or two and have them on A3 paper around the room, or an image of a happy place to focus on.

5. drinks and snacks
Get the cupboards stocked like you're preparing for a blizzard! Not just for the birth but for afterwards too. And don't forget about the dedicated midwives, who would not dare ask for anything, but might be there (looking after you alone) for hours and hours. A bit of toast might be nice at the end (or you could get one of them to get a load ready and scoff the lot yourself like I did..). Personal recommendations: lucozade (although not so much that your wee turns to glucose), fruity water, flapjacks, bananas, chocolate. And straws! So you can sip and not awkwardly slurp. 

6. charged phone/camera
The last thing you or your birth partner will be thinking about is how much charge you have left on your phone. Being in your own house, you might not even have it to hand or in a pocket. But you might regret it if you don't have any photos of those early moments. 

7. aromatherapy
'Get the clary sage!! Get the clary sage!'* was another one of my hollers. God knows how I got thinking about that mid-contraction. And I couldn't tell you what it smelled like. Maybe it worked, maybe it didn't. But I knew I wanted it! The lavender worked a treat in the early hours to chill me out and it was familiar because I'd been using it in  the previous weeks. For me, it added a bit of comfort and security. There are some great websites that detail the uses of essential oils, including this one  

8. dimmed lights/candles
The amount of times I've heard that this one is a load of bollocks, and who cares what the lighting is like when you're feeling like that, but this one was a massive deal for me. I knew the lights needed to be dimmed. I needed to feel safe and cosy, like on a winters' night with a log fire and my fluffy slippers. At one point I remember completely focusing on the flickering candle. I'm  convinced this helped bring my oxytocin levels up. 

9. hired TENS machine
The midwifes will probably only have access to one canister of gas and air. You might need that to last. The longer you can go without it, the better. For me, the TENS machine wasn't great. But it gave me a distraction for half an hour. I've heard people swear by it though, so for £15 or so to hire, it's well worth a go (you can often hire alongside the pool). 

10. your hypnobirthing techniques
The one thing on the list that should be very easily accessible. I could not have had my homebirth without hypnobirthing. 100%, no doubt about it. Everyone uses the techniques differently, but for me, the weeks before were shaped by the fear release scripts I repeated; the early hours of labour were cushioned by the visualisations I had practiced; and the latter stage was led by the breathing I had learnt. Plus,  I was able to remain completely calm, confident and content. 

With all this in mind, the main thing you need for any birth is YOU. All of this might increase levels of oxytocin (the main hormone that facilitates physiological birth), but no matter what happens, you can do this, all by yourself. 


*n.b. there are some oils, such as clary sage, that should not be used during pregnancy so take care.